Honesty
by iamkellylouise
Summary: Meredith is married to Mark, Derek is married to Addison. A bottle of liquor rips their world apart. Will they ever get it back? MerMark. DerekAddison. MeredithDerek friendship. For Sam. AU S1.


**A/N: Requested by Sam **_**[SBoleyn] **_**I managed to fit the lyrics you gave me in here! From the song Honesty by Rodney Atkins =)**

**There's more Addek in this than I intended but because of the story I had no choice! And there's more Meredith/Derek friendship than intended but again, because of the story blah blah blah. **

**Things you need to know: Completely AU. Go with it.**

**Reviews please! Kelly. X.**

* * *

It was like his heart had dropped to his stomach, or his stomach was in his mouth he didn't really know which but one thing he did know was that he felt sick. He knew something was wrong the minute he stepped into the house. It just didn't feel right. His wife was nowhere to be found so he made his way up the stairs. And he could sense it coming, and then he stepped on a jacket. A jacket he knew to be his best friends. And he could feel his heart racing. He put his hand on the handle of his bedroom and took a breath before opening it. And he really had to hold himself back from screaming as he saw his wife with her legs wrapped around his best friends waist. And then there was a scramble to cover up naked body parts but it was too late. He'd seen them. And he wanted to shout, he even opened his mouth but nothing came out. His wife said his name and in reply he slammed the door behind him and ran out of the house jumping straight into his car and to the one person who would feel everything he was feeling. He hated that he had to be the one to tell her.

"Derek, what's wrong?" Meredith frowned as she opened her apartment door to a pale as anything Derek.

"Can I come in?" he asked hoarsely.

"Of course" she said leading him over to the couch "Talk to me Der" she said rubbing his back.

"I, I don't know how to tell you" he whispered.

"You can tell me anything" she said with a smile.

"I just, I just found Mark and, and Addison they were, they were in bed together Meredith" he said almost disbelievingly.

"What? What do you mean they were in bed together?" she exclaimed with a nervous laugh.

"They were, they were, they were having sex" he choked.

"Your, your lying" she stuttered standing up "Your lying, they, they wouldn't do that, he's my husband and, she's my best friend, they wouldn't do that"

"Meredith do you know what I can see in my head right now? I can see my best friend naked with my wife on my favourite sheets so can you please, please just believe me because I can't say it again"

"Oh my god, oh my god" she said taking a deep breath "Oh my god"

"What should we do?" Derek asked shakily "What do we do?"

"I need to get out" Meredith said choking back tears.

"Why don't we go for a walk? Think about, how we're, going to deal with this" Derek said standing up.

"No I need to get _out_, out of this apartment, out of New York, I can't, I can't face them Derek, I can't" she sobbed.

"Sshh, it's ok, we're going to be ok" Derek said standing up and hugging her tightly "We'll be ok"

"How could they do this?" she cried.

"I don't know Mer, I really don't" he mumbled into her hair, tears trickling down his own face "Seattle" he said simply.

"What?" she said looking up at him.

"Richard Webber, my resident back when I was an intern, he can get you onto the intern programme at the snap of his fingers, lets just go, leave them, as soon as we've got ourselves settled we'll call our lawyers"

"So we leave, just like that"

"Just like that" he nodded "Go and pack, Mark will probably come back soon so we'll stay at a hotel tonight, I'll get my stuff in the morning"

Meredith reached up and kissed his cheek "Screw 'um, we're better than them"

"Screw 'um" he agreed.

Meredith and Derek were on the flight to Seattle the following afternoon, bags packed cell phones well and truly in the bin. They were in Richard Webber's office the next morning, Derek signing a contract, Meredith having a very informal interview to get onto the intern programme which was starting 3 weeks later. He had strict instructions not to tell Addison, who was bound to call, where they were. They stayed in a hotel for the first week and then found a two bedroom apartment less than 5 minutes walk away from the hospital. Meredith went back to using her maiden name, she couldn't bring herself to write Meredith Sloan on anything. It's made clear to everyone that they are just friends, friends who have known each other since Meredith was in high school, they always left out the part where Meredith fell in love and married his best friend while he married his med school sweetheart. That they were all best friends until the moment Derek found them in bed together. That part they never mentioned. Until one day, 6 weeks and 4 days later their past came crashing down on top of them.

"I swear this day is never going to end" Meredith groaned sitting down in the cafeteria next to Derek, her intern friends Izzie and Cristina joining them.

"This is why I love being an attending" Derek smiled "I get to go home in an hour and leave you guys to do all my dirty work"

"Shut up McDreamy" Cristina groaned.

"At least you think I'm dreamy" he said with a grin.

"I think I just puked a little in my mouth" Cristina shuddered.

"Can we not say puke while I'm eating lunch" Izzie sighed.

"Oh my god" Derek said almost stunned.

"What? What is it?" Meredith asked.

"Mer I, they found us"

"What?" she gasped.

"_They _found us" he said firmly nodding across the room, Izzie and Cristina shared curious glances and followed his eyes over to a stunning red-head and someone who was clearly too good looking for his own good walking towards them.

"Oh my god" she said with panic "Der, we have to go" she said standing up, grabbing his wrist and pulling him up from his chair.

"Meredith!" Mark shouted running towards her.

"Go to hell Mark" she hissed still walking away.

"Meredith wait" Mark said putting his hand on her shoulder, Derek turned around and punched him on the jaw sending him straight to the floor.

"Stay the hell away from her!" Derek snapped "Now will you get the hell up and get your ass back on a plane to New York, we don't want to see you"

"Meredith please let me explain" Mark said scrambling to his feet.

"Explain what Mark?" Meredith cried "How you cheated on me? How you cheated on me with my best friend? Who happens to be your best friends wife? What is there to explain?"

"Meredith it wasn't, it was just one time" Addison said as she reached them, Meredith reached out and slapped her hard on the face.

"You do not get to speak to me" Meredith said angrily "You slept with my husband, you do not get to speak to me" she said finally walking away.

"Derek" Addison said with a whimper.

"Get back on your broom and get back to New York, we don't want anything to do with you" he spat before following Meredith.

_~x~_

"Ice pack, for your hand" Meredith said quietly as herself and Derek hid in a supply closet.

"It's fine" he mumbled.

"Derek, your hand is worth 2 million a year, ice pack, now"

"Fine" he sighed taking the ice pack and putting it on his knuckles.

"How do you think they found us?"

"They've probably looked everywhere, this would be the last place I'm sure, I guess I should have seen it coming"

"What are we going to do?" she sighed resting her head against his shoulder.

"I don't know Mer, I really don't"

"Do you, do you think we should talk to them?"

"And say what exactly?"

"Don't you want to know why?"

"Does it really matter? They did it Meredith, knowing why won't change that"

"I know" she sighed "I just, I still love him Derek" she said with a sob "I've tried not too, I've tried to forget but, he's my husband, I love him so much"

"I know" he said rubbing her back "I still love her too"

"I don't, I don't want, my marriage, to be over" she sobbed.

"Me too" he whispered "But, can you really get past it? Because I don't think I can"

"I need to know why" she sniffled "I have to know what happened"

They both looked down as their pagers bleeped, then back to each other.

"Chief" they both said at the same time.

_~x~_

"I don't even know what to do with the two of you" the Chief said pacing in front of Derek and Meredith who both sat with low hung heads "Punching and slapping people in my hospital, in front of staff and visitors, what the hell were you thinking?"

"I was thinking here's the bastard who slept with my wife and broke my friends heart, that's what I was thinking" Derek muttered.

"We're really sorry Chief" Meredith sighed "We're so sorry but, they just, they took us by surprise and they, I know it's no excuse but, she's supposed to be my best friend, my _best_ friend and, he's my husband and they, they" she started to sob slightly again.

"Hey, hey Mer breathe" Derek said softly, squeezing her hand in his.

"I'm sorry it's just, they shouldn't be here, because now they're here and I don't, I don't know what to do"

"They're up in one of the x-ray exam rooms, he needed stitches and wanted to check for bone fractures" the Chief said quietly "I can have them removed from the premises once he's cleaned up"

"No, I, I need to speak to them" Meredith said standing up and wiping her tears.

"I don't think that's a good idea" said the Chief "If I find out you…."

"I'm not going to hit them Chief I just, I need to know why, I need to know why so I can move on"

"Like I said, x-ray exam rooms" he sighed.

"Derek?" Meredith said looking at him "Please, I can't do this on my own"

"I'll be there, every step of the way" he said standing up and kissing her forehead.

_~x~_

"Cristina, can you give us a minute please" Meredith said quietly as she and Derek walked into the x-ray exam room, Addison was sat on a chair in the far corner, tears falling from her eyes, Mark was sat on the bed staring at his own x-rays on the screen in front of him.

"Sure" Cristina nodded "But you and me, we need to talk" she said with a small smirk.

"Joe's at 8, me, you and Izzie, bottle of tequila" Meredith said with a tired smile.

"We'll be there" Cristina smiled "Good luck" she whispered as she left.

As soon as the door closed Mark and Addison both started talking quickly "Shut up!" Meredith shouted "Just shut up"

They both clamped their mouths closed.

"I don't want to hear your apologies, I want to know why" Meredith said firmly "Addison, you go"

"We, we were drunk, I know that sounds like an excuse but, we were drunk, we'd been working on a case together all day and we pulled it off and Mark took me home so I asked him if he wanted a drink to celebrate and we just kept drinking, we kept drinking and I don't know what happened, suddenly we were kissing and, I don't know how it happened" she said with a slight sob "We were so drunk"

"So this is what you've thrown our marriages away for, our friendships, a drunken one night stand?" Meredith exclaimed.

"We're so sorry Meredith" Mark sighed "As soon as Derek left we, we knew what we'd done and, by the time I got home you were gone"

"What did you expect to happen? I couldn't stay, I couldn't stay and face you, you slept with my _best friend_ Mark, your best friends wife, that, that is unforgivable" she hissed.

"Mer please" Mark said taking a step towards her, she took one back "Meredith please, don't give up on us, please, we're, we're Mark and Meredith, we're the Sloans, we don't quit, we never quit"

"We're not Mark and Meredith anymore" she whispered hoarsely "I thought, I thought I could do this, I thought I could come in here and maybe give you another chance but, I can't, I can't do it"

"Lets talk, just me and you, lets talk Mer, we could go and catch a ferryboat, like we did in New York, we can talk about this" Mark said walking close up to her and holding her wrists "Do you want me to beg? Cause I'll beg, I'll do it" he said getting down on his knees.

"Mark" she sighed.

"Please Meredith, just talk to me, I love you, I love you so much, please Mer, please"

"Fine" she sighed "But this doesn't mean I'm taking you back"

"No, I know" he sighed "I know that"

"Tomorrow at noon, Seattle Main to Bainbridge Island, I have to go back to work now" she said pulling her arms away and leaving the room.

"Der please" Addison sighed.

"I was only here for Meredith" he said harshly, quickly leaving the room.

_~x~_

"Are you going to look at me at any point today? Because we've been on this thing for half an hour and it's about to turn back" Mark said with a small smirk as himself and Meredith leaned against the railings of the ferryboat, she sighed and turned her head to face him.

"I love you" he said quietly.

"I know"

"I know you still love me Mer" he sighed "Just one more chance, that's all I'm asking, we're married, we've been married for 6 years, we can't just throw that all away, all that history"

"How can I ever trust you again Mark? Yes we've been married for 6 years, yes I still love you but I can't _trust_ you"

"What, what can I do? To make you trust me again?"

"I don't know if you can" she sighed.

"Then what? What do we do Meredith?"

"I think we, I think we should get a divorce" Meredith said tearfully "It's too late Mark"

"No, no Mer please, no it's not too late" he said cupping her face in his hands "It's not too late, we can get through this, I love you, I love you Meredith, please, please don't do this"

"I have to" she whispered "I can't, I can't do this anymore, I think of you, and now all I see is her, I can't do this"

"Please" he said kissing her desperately "Please Meredith" another kiss "I love you" kiss "I love you"

"I love you too" she whimpered "But we're done, I'll, I'll send you a list of what I need from New York and the divorce papers"

"No" Mark said firmly "No, you do not get to do this, no"

"I have too"

_~x~_

When Meredith arrived back at the apartment she found Derek and Addison sat at opposite sides of the living room, she let out a disgusted noise and went straight to her room.

"Meredith" Derek said walking into her room "What happened?"

"I'm divorcing him" she said simply "Are you giving her another chance?"

"Slowly" he nodded "She's, she's not moving in or anything, we're just going to, date"

"Right" Meredith said with a tired laugh "I guess we sort of swapped places huh? Wasn't it me who was supposed to try again?"

"You still can" he said softly.

"No. I can't, I thought I could but I can't" she said tearfully "I'm happy for you, if this is what you want I'm happy for you but, I can't trust him Derek, he was the one person in the world I trusted with my life and now, now I have nobody"

"You have me Mer, you'll always have me" he said walking over to her and hugging her tightly "You'll be ok, you will"

"I hope so Derek, I really do"

_~x~_

"Meredith! You have mail" Derek shouted as he walked into the apartment a week later, Addison trailing behind him, Meredith walked out from her bedroom, completely ignoring Addison and took the envelope from him, she opened it and pulled out a set of divorce papers, filed for by Mark. A small note paper clipped to the top, she put the papers on the counter and took of the note.

'_Mer, I'm not sending you these because I want to, you know that, this is all I want._

_**Honesty, sincerity, tenderness and trust**_

_**A little less time for the rest of the world**_

_**And more for the two of us**_

_**Kisses each mornin' I love you's at night**_

_**Just like it used to be**_

_**The way life was when you were in love with me**_

_I will love you every single day for the rest of my life, if you sign then I'll sign but in my heart you will always be my wife, I love you Meredith Sloan. Love, your husband'_

Meredith took a shaky breath and burst into tears, she broke down against the counter, sliding down onto the floor with the note in her hands. Addison was by her side within the second wrapping her arms tightly around her, Meredith tried to fight at first but her body weakened, her hands gripping onto Addison's arms.

"I hate you" she said hitting her hard "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you" she said hitting her over and over.

"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry Meredith" Addison whispered into her hair "I'm so sorry"

"I love him, I love him so much" she sobbed "I love him so much"

"I know" Addison said rocking her slightly "I know you do, I know we hurt you, and I'm so sorry Mer, I'm so sorry, and I know you'll never forgive me but, you have to try and forgive him, you have to, your Mark and Meredith, you have to try"

"How could you do this to me Addie? What have I ever done to you to make you want to hurt me so much?"

"You've done nothing to me Meredith, I'm just a stupid bitch who doesn't know how to hold her liquor"

"And a whore" Meredith sniffed.

"And a whore" Addison nodded.

"Where is he?" Meredith said as she climbed to her feet.

"He's staying at the Archfield, I know he's on the 5th floor but I don't know what room, but I'm sure if you ask at the desk they'll tell you"

"I'll never forgive you" Meredith said looking down at her.

"I'll never forgive me either" Addison sighed.

Meredith grabbed her keys from the counter and shot out of the apartment.

_~x~_

"Coming, I'm coming!" Mark shouted moving towards his hotel room door as someone pounded against it "Meredith" he breathed as he swung it open.

"I'm still mad at you" Meredith said pushing her way into the room, Mark closed the door and turned to face her "and I don't know if I trust you, I wanna trust you, but I don't know if I do. So I'm just gonna try, I'm gonna try and trust you because I love you Mark, your my husband and I love you, so we're going to try ok? Because we have to, we have to try, so we're going to date"

"Date" Mark said with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes. Date"

"Ok" he nodded "Ok, we'll date, do I get to kiss you?"

"I don't know yet" she said folding her arms across her chest, Mark smiled softly, he stepped close to her and brought his hand to her face, brushing her cheek softly "Maybe just, one kiss" she mumbled, Mark leaned down and kissed her softly.

"I love you Meredith Sloan"

"I know, I love you too"

_~x~_

"Hey" Derek said softly as Meredith walked back into the apartment that night.

"Hey" she smiled.

"How'd it go?"

"We're dating" Meredith sighed "Where's Addison?"

"She just left, she spent most of the night crying anyway"

"Yeah" Meredith said with a laugh "Me too" she sighed sitting next to him on the sofa "I miss her"

"I miss him"

"Do you think we'll ever be able to be friends again, all four of us?"

"I don't know" Derek sighed "I really don't Mer"

"We'll always be friends right?" Meredith said looking up at him.

"Always" he said squeezing her hand.

"I called Addison a whore" Meredith said almost disbelievingly.

"Yeah" Derek said with a laugh.

"I hate this, because I really want to hate them, I really do but, I know that deep down, they're still my husband and my best friend, this sucks"

"Yep, it sucks"

_~x~_

**1 month later.**

"Do you remember our honeymoon?" Mark asked softly as Meredith lay in his arms.

"Of course" she smiled.

"2 very long weeks in Hawaii, 2 very long hot naked weeks" he whispered huskily.

"We're not having sex Mark" Meredith said with a laugh.

"I didn't say that" he said slightly high pitched.

"Mark" she said sitting up on her knees and facing him "It's not that I don't want to, believe me I do but, I'm just not past it yet"

"I know" he whispered stroking her cheek "I'm sorry"

"I know" she said leaning forward and kissing him softly "I love you" she said placing her forehead against his.

"I love you too" he smiled.

_~x~_

**2 months later.**

"Can I get the usual please Joe" Meredith said slipping onto an empty bar stool.

"Here you go" Joe said pouring her a shot of tequila "Enjoy"

"Thanks" Meredith said taking the shot "Joe, send a martini to Addison" she said nodding over to Addison who sat nursing her almost empty martini glass, Joe nodded and quickly made up a martini, he passed it to Addison who looked up and met Meredith's eye. Meredith sent her a small smile, she stood up and moved over to the stool next to Addison.

"Hey" she said quietly.

"Hey" Addison whispered.

"I miss you, I miss my best friend, and I meant what I said before, I won't ever forgive you, and I'll never forget it but, I want us to be friends again"

"Is it wrong that I think I missed you more than I missed Derek?"

"I think I missed you more than Mark too" Meredith smirked.

"Let's never tell them that though right?"

"Definitely" Meredith laughed "But, if you go near my husband again I will kill you"

"I'm so sorry Mer" Addison said wrapping her arms around Meredith's waist "I'm so so sorry"

"I know" Meredith sighed "I'm moving out of the apartment"

"What? Why?" Addison said sitting back.

"I'm moving in with Mark, and you are turning my room into a shoe closet"

"But Derek hasn't….."

"Derek will ask" Meredith said softly "Now, lets get very drunk, Joe, another round please"

"Coming right up" he smiled.

"I'm sorry I called you a whore" Meredith said nudging Addison slightly.

"I am a whore"

"No. You're not" Meredith said firmly "Your just stupid"

"Thanks" Addison laughed.

"My pleasure" Meredith smirked.

_~x~_

"Good morning" Mark yawned as Meredith kissed him awake.

"Good morning" she smiled "I just called in sick, for both of us"

"Oh really" he said with a raised eyebrow.

"Really" she nodded, she sat back on her knees and pulled her shirt off, she moved back to him and kissed him hard on the lips "I'm ready" she whispered.

"I love you" he whispered back, he wrapped his arms around her and rolled her onto her back "I love you too" she whispered into his mouth "So much"

_~x~_

**2 months later.**

"Mark I, I need to tell you something" Meredith stuttered as they sat watching a movie on their sofa.

"What is it babe?"

"I'm pregnant" she said almost disbelievingly.

"What?" he gasped.

"I did a test this morning and, I'm pregnant Mark" she said turning to look at him.

"Oh my god Mer" he smiled "Meredith that's, that's amazing" he said kissing her "Oh my god"

"I know" she whispered biting her lip.

"I know, I know this wasn't planned but, this is, the best thing that's happened all year"

"It really is" she said tearfully "I love you" she said kissing him "We both love you" she said bringing his hand to her stomach.

_~x~_

**1 year later.**

"I still think she looks more like Meredith" Derek said staring into baby rocker that sat on the living room floor of The Sloans, 4 month old Millie Louise Sloan sleeping soundly in it.

"No, look at that nose, that's the Sloan nose" Mark said almost proudly.

"I'm sorry Millie, but he's right"

"Shut up" Mark said hitting his arm "Are you and Addie ever going to pop any out?"

"Ha, it won't be Derek doing the, popping, it'll be me" Addison said with a laugh.

"And it is so not as simple as, popping" Meredith said with a slight shudder "It's 14 hours of contractions and pain and, ow"

"Oh god, I'm really not looking forward to that" Addison sighed placing her hand on her stomach "I guess I have 7 months to prepare myself huh?"

"What?" Meredith and Mark exclaimed.

"I'm pregnant" Addison said biting her lip a little.

"Oh my god, Addison!" Meredith said wrapping her arms around Addison "Congratulations"

"Thanks" Addison smiled.

"Oh make it a boy, please make it a boy" Meredith said excitably.

"I can't make it anything Mer" Addison laughed "Why does it need to be a boy?"

"So he can marry Millie"

"Woah, no no" Mark said firmly "She's not dating, and she's definitely not dating a Shepard"

"Hey!" Derek exclaimed.

"Mark" Meredith laughed "Don't you think it would be pretty perfect? Plus, there'd be no awkward meeting the in laws thing"

"True" Mark nodded "Ok, it's fine, she can date him"

"We don't even know if it's a boy yet and they could hate each other" Addison laughed.

"We don't hate each other" said Meredith.

"Well there was a time…." Mark started.

"Woah woah woah, shut up now before you bring it up" Meredith said holding her hand up.

"Sorry" Mark mumbled clamping his mouth shut.

"Right, we should go, we have work" Derek said standing up "Bye Millie" he smiled reaching down kissing Millie's forehead.

"Bye sweetie" Addison said copying Derek.

"Congratulations Addie" Meredith said hugging her again "I'm really happy for you"

"I'm really happy for me too" Addison smiled.

"For us dear, for us" Derek smirked.

"For us, right" Addison nodded, she turned back to Meredith and mouth 'Me' to which Meredith laughed.

"Congratulations man" Mark said shaking Derek's hand.

"Thanks" Derek smiled.

"We'll see you later" Addison said as they backed out of the front door.

"Bye" Meredith and Mark said waving them off before closing the door.

"How long do you think we have until she wakes up?"

"I have no idea" Meredith sighed.

Mark lay down on the sofa and pulled Meredith on top of him "Sleep while we can where we can" he smirked.

"I love you" Meredith yawned.

"I love you too" Mark said kissing the top of her head "Have a good sleep Mrs Sloan"

"You too Mr Sloan"

_~x~ ~x~ ~x~_


End file.
